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It's the Year 40K, and there's still no Love in the Universe.

A Review of Warhammer 40k

by Trash Talkin' Tom


Caveat: I don't play the game, I barely know the rules and I don't particular like the game.

But there has been a great cry from the masses that there are no articles on Warhammer 40k. What's the matter, your fingers broken? Presumably all the Warhammer players have graduated high school and can put two sentences together. Believe me, you do not want me representing Warhammer40K.

Warhammer40K (I don't know if there is or isn't supposed to be a space between Warhammer and 40K, but if I run them together I don't get that damn annoying red squiggly line underneath the word. Good enough for me.) Ahem, let me start again. Warhammer40K is a miniature war game. You play the game with hordes of little pewter people and you try to annihilate your enemy. This involves rolling fistfuls of dice. Fun, eh?

The game is nominally set 40,000 years in the future. Besides Humans, there are Orcs, Goblins, Eldar(elves), Dark Eldar(dark elves), and the forces of Chaos. I'm probably missing a race or two. Of course, everybody is bent on destroying each other. You field an Army of one of these races based on a point system. Each miniature is assigned a point value based on various statistics and it's perceived worth (I really have no idea. I'm making this up). Army values I'm familiar with are 1000, 1500, and 2000. I assume you can make any size Army you want, as long as you can find someone willing to play with you.

Oh, all these pewter pieces come au natural. Since it's considered uncouth to play with unpainted miniatures, you better brush up on your painting skills.

The game isn't very portable and it takes vast tracks of real estate to play. This game isn't for very young children, since we all know how yummy pewter is. Though not as expensive as a good Magic addiction, this game isn't cheap. The reason I don't like is because of the fistfuls of dice. You can roll a lot of dice in this game. Kinda limits the strategy element.

If my bad attitude didn't dissuade you, drop by Boldo's on Thursday nights or Sundays. The 40K boys are always happy to teach the game and I'm pretty sure they have an extra Army or two.

Did I dis your game too much? Then write your own damn article. I told you I didn't like the game. After reading a couple of the Codex's I can tell what this game really needs is an anger management course.

I'm out.
-t3


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Last Modified on Monday, 08-May-2000 23:03:51 EDT