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Trash Talkin' Tom's Nemesis Preview
or
Mercadian Masques II: Revenge of the Mediocre

by Trash Talkin' Tom

The list is out weeks before the pre-release. Clever marketing ploy or desperate attempt to generate interest? You be the judge.

White

Angelic Fervor 3W, Instant, Uncommmon

If you control a plains, you may tap an untapped creature you control instead of paying Angelic Fervor's mana cost. Play this spell only during combat. Put a 4/4 white Angel creature token with flying into play. Remove the creature from the game at end of turn.

No one played Waylay 'till they found a loophole. What makes them think anyone will play this?

Avenger en-Dal 1W, Creature - Spellshaper 1/1

2W T, Discard a card from your hand: Remove target attacking creature from the game. Its controller gains life equal to its toughness.

White players can breathe easy now. An Exile replacement is here! What? Exile's not gone? Hey, what's going on here?

Lashknife 1W, Enchant Creature, Common

If you control a plains, you may tap an untapped creature you control without paying its mana cost. Enchanted creature has first strike.

The outcry for a Lance replacement was so great WotC finally caved in and printed this. Paying the alternative casting cost might be problematic, though.


Blue

Accumulated Knowledge 1U, Instant, Common

Draw a card, then draw cards equal to the number of all Accumulated Knowledge cards in all graveyards.

What, could this be a good card? I feel faint.

Aether Barrier

Wait, I won't go on. This card has Aether in the title, so it must suck. It's the law.

Air Bladder U, Enchant Creature, Common

Enchanted creature gains flying. Enchanted creature may block only creatures with flying.

Whew! Thank God! I think the very fabric of space and time will rupture and the Great Sea Anemone will come and scoop us all up if ever there is a Magic set printed without a creature enchantment that gives flying. The first impression of the clueless masses was that this is the worst such enchantment for quite awhile now, but an Esteemed Elder pointed out the error in such egregiously faulty thinking and illustrated a couple cases where this card provides MAJOR FREAKIN' BWATDOWN (hyperbole mine). The exchange ended thus:

"But this card is useless in constructed."

"Who plays these cards in constructed?"

Indeed.

Dominate X1UU, Instant, Uncommon

Gain control of target creature with converted mana cost of X or less. (This spell's effect lasts past the end of turn.)

Which turn?

Rising Waters 3U, Enchantment, Rare

Land's don't untap during their controllers' untap steps. At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player untaps a land he or she (or it) controls.

Ahhh, I understand now, grasshopper. WotC takes cards out of sets so at some later date, when the tequila runs out, they can reprint them.


Black

Spineless Thug 1B, Creature - Mercenary 2/2, Common

Spineless Thug can't block.

There's a joke in here someplace, but I just can't quite find it. You're on your own here, kids.

Stronghold Discipline 2BB, Sorcery, Common

Each player loses one life for each creature he or she (or it) controls.

Yes, Mistress.


Red

Red is boring. C'mon, six Flowstone and five Laccolith? Eleven slots taken by abilities that are marginal in Limited and probably won't see much Constructed play. Is R&D running out of gas?


Green

Fog Patch 1G, Instant, Common

You may play Fog Patch only during the declare blockers step. All attacking creatures become blocked. (This spell works on unblockable creatures.)

Finally! A clear, coherent definition for Fog. I never played Fog or it's many knock-offs simply because I never understood them. Constant Mists? Not for me, fella! Give me something easy to understand, like Atom Lasers and 4-Wave Atom Mixers! Or Women!

Refreshing Rain 3G, Instant, Uncommon

If an opponent controls a swamp and you control a forest, you may play Refreshing Rain without paying its mana cost. Target player gains 6 life.

Oooh, this hoses black. Bigtime.

Skyshroud Behemoth 5GGG, Creature - Beast, 10/10, Rare

Fading 2. Skyshroud Behemoth comes into play tapped.

I'm paying seven mana for a 10/10 that only is useful for one turn, and it doesn't trample? Would it have killed them to give it trample? Why must I Rancor EVERYTHING?

Stampede Driver G, Creature - Spellshaper, Uncommon

1G, T, Discard a card from your hand: Creatures you control get +1/+1 and gain trample until end of turn.

OK, here's the deal: I got a 13/11 tramplin' beast, but only for one turn. It only cost me 11 mana, a card and a couple of turns. YOU MAKE THE CALL: Am I a beatdown master or a drooling moron?

Ack! Enough of this. That's it, ladies and gentleman; Nemesis, coming to town near you Feb. 14th. Hopefully Davey J will do another one of his excellent articles on this set. Lord knows you didn't learn anything from me.

I won't get excited about a CCG until the WWF CCG comes out. Attitude! Get it!

I'm out.
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